Monday, November 30, 2015

Captivated in Catalonia


This one is a business trip, and since someone has to do it -- attend the semi-annual meeting of the insurance captive, Generations Group, of which Schewel Furniture is a member-owner -- it might as well be your scribe, accompanied of course by the lovely JSG, who can produce a carry-on, backpack, and passport faster than a flight attendant can say "Welcome aboard."

Incorporated to provide workers' compensation, general liability, and vehicle collision coverage for Schewel and its twenty-nine similar-sized partner companies, the captive -- so-called because it is owned by, or captive to, the policyholders -- offers cost savings that a commercial carrier cannot match.

The underwriting gains from invested premiums are retained by the captive rather than by an independent insurer, and are thus available to be distributed to the owners. At around thirty percent, the administrative overhead of captives is about ten percentage points lower than that of independent insurers. The potential for the return of unused premium is a considerable incentive for the owners to reduce losses through the implementation of stringent risk management programs. Finally, if the captive is domiciled, or licensed, offshore -- like Generations Group, which is in the Cayman Islands -- its profits are subject to taxation only once, when they are passed through to the owner companies and not at the corporate level.

An additional if less tangible benefit is the opportunity to network with an eclectic assortment of entrepreneurs, whose enterprises run the gamut from residential and commercial construction, building material sales, real estate development, sanitary product distribution, and pickle manufacturing to golf caddie management, breakfast biscuit preparation, and competitive dog show superintending.

Offshore captives are required by law to meet outside the U. S. -- but not necessarily in their domicile -- and Generations Group usually alternates between Canada and the Caribbean, most recently Toronto and San Juan. Once every five years or so the meeting is held in conjunction with four other captives who share the same supra-management group, thereby creating the critical mass for an owners' conference at some exotic locale -- like the Hotel Arts Barcelona, where business is speedily dispensed with on Day One and the attendees can turn to more pleasurable and edifying pursuits.

Self-improvement is the order of Day Two, teed up by one of ten most inspirational people in the world, according to the Wall Street Journal, Chad Hymas, who was paralyzed from the neck down fifteen years ago when a two-thousand-pound bale of hay crushed his spine; until calamity struck he had been an ordinary elk farmer tending his herd and living the dream he had harbored since his youthful infatuation with those stately animals.


For two hours, before a spellbound audience, Chad maneuvers his wheelchair back and forth across the stage, occasionally pausing to peck at his laptop and summon a photo onto the two large screens that flank him as he weaves a narrative quilt of personal experiences that elucidate and amplify his precepts for "Leaving a Legacy"; it's a marvelous feat to behold, since his gnarled, twisted hands hang like dead fish.

Put your family first, always. To be a superior leader (or "guide"), support your associates in word and deed without being asked and when they least expect it. Act with urgency, or you won't act at all. Focus on what you have, not on what you have lost. Exalt and encourage others, because people remember how you make them feel, not what you say.

He begins with Father's Day. Propped up between his two teenage sons (lest he fall over), he savored breakfast in bed -- strawberry waffles topped with whipped cream and syrup -- and two simple but eloquent cards: a homemade one decorated with an elk from his ten-year-old (adopted) daughter, who scored her love for Dad on this special occasion at 101, compared to Mom's 100 (and Chad's own previous record high of 80); and a Wal-Mart gem from the boys proclaiming him the "Best Dad in the World," to which they appended the testimonial that "when they grow up, they want to be a guide just like him."

Chad points out an exemplary guide standing in the wings. He's one of the housekeeping staff, Mohammed, who exhibited outstanding leadership by seizing the moment and arranging a rooftop dinner for Chad with hotel management; we notice how Chad makes Mohammed feel like a hero by recognizing his effort in front of the entire assemblage.

Chad spent sixty-three days in the hospital after his accident. On the sixty-fourth his father and brother showed up, dressed him in camouflage, drove him out to their farm, deposited him near a watering hole, poured elk urine over his head (releasing a telltale scent), and let loose their mating calls. But the joke was on them. For five years afterward Chad was too depressed to go looking for elk again ("I just sat there," he says) -- until his father telephoned one more time. "We're packing your favorite lunch. We'll be building a campfire and talking about you. We're taking your two boys whether you come along or not." Which is when Chad realized he couldn't afford to waste any more time and snapped his favorite photo from a file of 60,000. It sits framed in glass in his office, is plastered on his luggage, and lights up his computer screen at his initial keystroke: his younger son all decked out in dirty camouflage, wranglers, and boots, poised to espy his first elk.

Chad has a ringside parking spot reserved for his wheelchair in his sons' high school basketball arena, and in spite of a whirlwind schedule, he has never missed a game. He came close a few years ago when at a company retreat in Greenland he got an unexpected call from the older one, Ace. "I'm starting my first varsity game tomorrow night" was the bittersweet message, since there was no way Chad could get home in less than thirty hours. He explained his predicament to the CEO, who could not alter the agenda but did accommodate him with a sudden, startling decision; he flew Chad by private plane to Toronto, where he caught a flight to Salt Lake City, landing in time to make the tip-off with twelve minutes to spare. When Ace saw his Dad, he gave him the "thumbs up" sign, then ran across the court and held up Chad's own thumbs, a tableau that became legendary in the school's annals.


From his father Chad learned the importance of acting boldly when others choose to avoid or ignore an uncomfortable situation. He relates an incident from his own high school past about an intellectually disabled girl named Melanie who was subjected to constant teasing and denigration by him and his peers -- until the day his father brought pizza to the packed cafeteria, took a slice over to Melanie, touched her arm, and engaged her in conversation. Three thousand stunned witnesses had a change of heart, and voted Melanie an honorary cheerleader; soon she would manifest twirling skills warranting television coverage by four local stations. And years later Chad's son and a buddy would make him proud when they escorted two special education students to Homecoming.
.

On July 11, 2003, Chad set out to push his wheelchair five hundred miles from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas. He made good progress for four days over relatively flat terrain before encountering a steep ascent that slowed him to a "turtle's pace" of two miles in fourteen hours. By Day Eight, traveling at night to compensate for asphalt temperature that had risen to 122 degrees, Chad was sick, exhausted, questioning the meaning of this tortuous exercise, and ready to give it up, although he was only eighty-seven miles from his goal, having counted off over four hundred green mile markers. "Sure, you can quit now," said his father, "but why don't you try counting those yellow stripes down the middle of the road, which can measure your success just as effectively as the mile markers?" And so he did, 1100, 1800, 3000 stripes, until he reached Apex Junction, where the State Police shut down the highway, enabling him to coast downhill and complete his eleven-day marathon. "The difficult takes time," says Chad. "But the impossible takes a little bit longer."

Slowing down the inexorable hands of Father Time may be a difficult task, but it is by no means impossible, says our next next speaker, Todd Whitthorne. A healthy lifestyle can compress the morbidity curve, adding six to nine years to life expectancy and postponing a decline in one's functional capacities by as many as twenty years. Each of us has a choice, or as Led Zeppelin intoned in "Stairway to Heaven": "Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on." No less a sage than Leo Tolstoy offered similar words of encouragement a century-and-a-half earlier when he wrote: "The position we occupy is not as important as the direction we are moving."


Of the top ten causes of the global metric "Years Lived With Disability" -- back pain, depression, anemia, neck pain, diabetes, hearing loss, migraine headaches, pulmonary disease, anxiety, and musculoskeletal disorders -- except for anemia, the prevalence of each has increased since 1990, with diabetes leading the way, up 136 percent.

The percent of the U. S. population with diabetes stands at 9.3 (29 million people), but eighty-six million more are prediabetic (90 percent of whom don't know it) and are at a high risk for Type 2 diabetes without changes in their diet and activity level. In 2012 diabetes and its related complications accounted for $245 billion in medical costs and lost work and wages.

In the U. S. today, 35 percent of adults (and twenty percent of teenagers) are obese. They consume 42 percent more in health care dollars than adults who are at a healthy weight, racking up about $180 billion annually in preventable medical billings. In addition, obesity costs employers $4.3 billion in job absenteeism and $500 per worker in lost productivity per year. Worker Compensation claims run five times higher for obese employees than they do for the non-obese.

The twofold solution lies first in sensible nutrition, says Todd, whose repertoire of facts, statistics, sound bites, and gentle recommendations leaves us all regretting those sumptuous Hotel Arts Barcelona buffets. We should have skipped breakfast, saving ourselves four hundred calories. Were we reacting to genuine hunger (the body's need for sustenance) or merely satisfying our appetites, our mind's craving for gratuitous titillation of our palates? Why is Todd looking directly at me when he admonishes us to moderate our pace of ingestion, since our stomachs have no taste buds?

While it's easy (and flippant) to say, "If it comes from a plant, eat it; if it's made in a plant, throw it away," adherence to such maxims seems a lost cause when twenty percent of our calories are consumed in a car; when Arby's, Taco Bell, Burger King, and KFC dominate the roadway and television screen; when the Holiday Inn Express promotes Pancake Night; when Ph.D's earn accolades for concocting peanut butter and bacon shakes; and when fat, sugar, and salt are altering the biological circuitry of brains overdosing on french fries, ketchup, corn syrup, and other poisonous substitutes for vegetables and roast chicken.

Todd suggests enhancing one's diet daily with two supplements: 2000 IU's of Vitamin D, which can boost the immune system and prevent osteoporosis; and 1000 mg of Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil), which can lower risk for heart disease and stroke.

If Todd's second remedy, physical activity, won't produce meaningful weight loss -- one pound contains 3500 calories -- its virtues are indisputable. Aerobic exercise for the mind and body is the one sure way to make yourself healthier; the evidence is clear that it can significantly reduce or cure fatigue, snoring, heartburn, insomnia, depression, headaches, impotence, and anxiety. A fit fifty-something doubles his chance of living to age eighty-five.

Todd recommends 150 minutes a week of moderate exercise, including weight lifting, but says for those less committed the "Scientific 7-Minute Workout" can be as effective as endurance training. It consists of twelve extremely intensive activities employing only body weight, a chair, and a wall, each performed in rapid succession for thirty seconds followed by ten-second rest intervals: jumping jacks, wall-sit, push-up, abdominal crunch, step-up onto chair, squat, triceps dip on chair, plank, high knees running in place, push-up and rotation, and side plank.


As a fitness fanatic (but a problematic eater who can't cook and unless he's dining out subsists on processed food), I of course heartily endorse Todd's prescription for "Leaving the Campground Cleaner." But exercise is first an avocation and second a habit, which is why I am swift to extol its physical and psychological benefits, yet always careful to avoid a didactic tone. No matter the level of intensity, the regimen is too strenuous and the change in behavior too radical for any person to undertake unless he decides indeed that "the pain is worth the gain" and develops a passion as seductive and obsessive as playing golf or watching football. There's a reason 95 percent of Americans are too sedentary.

Stepping up next to reveal the shocking truth about the current drug epidemic is a tag team with an impressive resume. Coined by New York Magazine "the most famous narc in America," Bob Stutzman spent twenty-five years as a Special Agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration, at one time had a $5 million contract on his head, was the subject of the Netflix film "Narco" for his role in hunting down Pablo Escobar, survived four gunshot wounds, and brought to justice the criminal who killed his best friend and partner. Judge Jodi Switalski is a former Detroit felony prosecutor (and Olympian volleyball star) who presides over a successful sobriety, drug, and domestic violence court.


Like a tenacious bulldog with a gravelly baritone, Bob's on a mission, launching a barrage of statistics so frightening it stretches the boundaries of credibility. One hundred twenty persons die every day from drug overdoses, over half of which are prescription drugs. Seventy-one percent of students describe their high schools as drug-infested. Attending college increases one's chance of becoming a drug or alcohol addict by a factor of three. Every day over sixteen hundred females are raped as a result of drug or alcohol use. While drug use is actually down slightly since 1992, the number of persons classified as dependent has doubled from nine million to eighteen million.

Twelve years and three months is now the average age at which young people begin their drug careers, compared to fifteen-and-a-half in the 1960's. It is not uncommon for fourth graders to take a drink or "try a joint" at the urging of a friend or sibling and then step up easily to "huffing" -- inhaling Pam spray or Sharpie felt tips -- and smoking the dangerous, hallucinatory plant Salvia, which can be picked up at Home Depot or ordered online.

Bob is not as favorably inclined to the legalization of marijuana as I am. For adults, he says, losing depth perception for forty-eight hours after a few puffs is no better or worse than the effect of alcohol. For kids, however, chronic use can be devastating, changing the cellular structure of their brains and shrinking their IQ's ten points.

LSD's back, says Bob, although in a more deadly variant, psylocybin, a compound occurring in a species of Central American mushrooms. Its "magical" trips can evoke terrifying thoughts, fears of insanity and death, and an inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. Even worse are the recurring delusions or "flashbacks" experienced by users long after their ingesting the drug.

Opioids present different problems from those associated with older, conventional drugs. The most popular means of consumption is to "parachute," or swallow crushed pills, so that the chemicals hit the blood stream in eight seconds. The consequent "high" engenders feelings of warmth, safety, and well-being which one person likened to "being in my mother's arms." Unbeknownst to him, one's best friend can be addicted to opioids, just as a stoned Rush Limbaugh broadcast for three years to an unsuspecting public. In 2008 the most hit-upon internet photo was a body bag containing opioids' most famous victim: twenty-nine-year-old Heath Ledger, who couldn't separate himself from his "Joker" persona and succumbed to ambien, xanax, and oxycontin.


Bob hands off to Judge Jodi, who extracts from her robe her own portfolio of horror stories. K2 (synthetic marijuana) was the culprit in the case of Dickie, who, she says, "couldn't feel the pain" of slitting his throat, so he shot himself in the face. After vaping the designer drug flakka, Tucker beat his father to death with a baseball bat, shouting, "My brain is bleeding!" A woman who feared for her life because of her grandson's use of K2 killed him preemptively in self-defense. Painkillers are turning injured athletes like Page into addicts; Judge Jodi knew she was at risk, sentencing her to one day in jail for possession of paraphernalia, but couldn't save her from a subsequent prescription drug overdose.

The Judge passes the baton back to Bob, who wants to correct some common misconceptions. Contrary to what was depicted in the otherwise accurate television series "The Wire," eighty-six percent of drug addicts are white. Per capita, white adults use drugs at a 70 percent higher rate than blacks (for white high school students that number is 100 percent), although blacks are four times more likely to be arrested on a drug charge.

What might once have been considered safe havens offer no relief from this scourge. Drug use in suburban and rural areas is on par with that in big cities. It's eighteen percent higher in private schools than in public schools. Players in team sports have a higher rate of substance abuse than those in individual sports and non-participants (and football has the highest rate), thereby putting the lie to the frequently heard refrain, "My son doesn't have a problem; he plays ball." Medical and MBA degrees from the University of Pennsylvania couldn't prevent the self-inflicted death of John on his first day off after three weeks in residency at Mt. Sinai Hospital.

Bob does offer some advice for families on how to avoid being struck by such tragedy. Postpone as long as possible a child's exposure to and first use of a drug, because the younger the age when it happens, the more likely he or she will become an addict. Emphasize the evils of tobacco, which also is a predictor of progressing to harder substances. And sit down to dinner with children five to seven nights a week, and listen to, but don't judge, their best and worst adventures of the day.

"Where are all the pills coming from?" is almost a rhetorical question. Twenty percent of patients walk out of their physician's office with a prescription for opioids, usually for sixty doses. In 1992 six million scripts were written for opioids; in 2014 that figure had grown to 270 million. More often than we would like to believe, kids will check the medicine cabinet in their friends' homes; if they're wondering which pill will get them high, they've been directed by the internet to "take the one with the 'warning' label."

Well, after nearly four hours of lectures on the evils of gluttony and substance-induced euphoria, we're off to indulge ourselves in both in a rather incongruous sunset to our day of enlightenment. Our destination -- one hour by bus from Barcelona -- is the magnificent Cavas Cordoniu, a winery complex that includes vineyards, production facilities, restaurant, multi-level banquet hall, private residence, and storage cellar. Dating back to the sixteenth century, it's the oldest family business in Spain and worldwide the seventeenth-oldest as well as the second largest maker of bottle-fermented sparkling wine.


And it's delicious, whether of the white or rose variety, glasses of which overflow the twenty or so large tables bordering the spacious courtyard where our party of four hundred socializes, imbibes, samples the tasty seafood hors d'oeuvres, and admires the grounds and the view. We're about to head indoors when JSG points out a series of trams -- several carts linked together and pulled by a small tractor -- dropping off and picking up riders, then whizzing off on some mysterious tour which is drawing a crowd. It's like musical chairs, but we finally locate two seats and hop aboard.

We motor down several long ramps, interrupted by a hairpin switchback or two, before landing in the bowels of the property. It's chilly, dank, and gloomy, with barely enough light to make out on either side of us floor to ceiling storage racks, some empty, others filled with familiar dust-covered shapes. We're in Cordoniu's famous underground, Cava caves so to speak, nineteen miles of corridors housing forty million bottles of the bubbly, although I'm not sure the proprietors ever take inventory.


I'm reminded of the juvenile drinking ditty, "One hundred bottles of beer on the wall," and sure enough our guide pulls one down, not to pass around but to demonstrate the manufacturing process. After primary fermentation and blending, the wine is put in bottles with yeast and a small amount of sugar, stopped with a temporary cap, and stored horizontally. During secondary fermentation, which can last up to three years, carbon dioxide is trapped in the wine in solution. After aging, the bottles are gradually rotated to a downward vertical position so that the dead yeast or lees settles in the neck. A small portion of liquid is frozen, the plug of ice with the lees is removed, the wine is topped off with a dose of sugar (which varies according to the sweetness desired), and the bottle is recapped.

By the time we get back to the surface there are no seats left on the ground level of the banquet hall where the buffet is spread out. Health guru Todd would no doubt regard that as fortuitous: it not only requires us to engage in strenuous physical activity climbing the stairway, it also suppresses our calorie intake since, after one bulging plate of paella, pasta, and salad, a return trip hardly seems worth the effort. Later on we do make our way down to the dance floor, as I can't resist rockin' an' rollin' to a medley -- Waterloo, Dancing Queen, Take a Chance on Me -- popularized by my newest favorite singing group, the 1970's Swedish stars known as "ABBA."

None the worse for all the revelry, we're up at 8:00 AM the next morning to catch a cab for a day-long excursion which JSG's careful research has determined is the most promising of a pot luck draw: to the medieval town of Girona and then to Figueres, site of the Salvador Dali Museum. Our tour bus departs at 8:30 from the terminal at the Placa de Catalunya, "a twenty-minute ride from here," says the hotel concierge, which leaves us plenty of time as we settle in behind our driver, another Mohammed, although he's altogether of a different sort from his namesake of yesterday. He's friendly enough, but somehow runs into three traffic jams while following a circuitous route through some parts of the city we'd rather not see right now before depositing us at our destination a frustrating five minutes too late.

Well, there's still tomorrow, we console ourselves with, and since we're not far from one of Barcelona's main attractions, it's simply a matter of switching Days Three and Four.

During our wandering through the area a few days ago we'd seen the provocative facade which eclipses its neighbors like a misplaced Disneyland castle: Antoni Gaudi's Casa Battlo. At this hour there's no waiting line for the wonders that lie behind it.

In 1904, by the time the fifty-four-year-old Gaudi was commissioned by wealthy industrialist Josep Battlo to renovate his newly-purchased home on the prominent Passeig de Gracia, his reputation as a master of Catalan Modernism and a creative genius was well-established. Incorporating elements of the Oriental and neo-Gothic movements that had influenced him in the years after his 1878 graduation from the Barcelona Architecture School, Gaudi took the lyricism, subjectivity, overt ornamentation, and plastic constructional language of Modernism in a direction that was totally original and beyond emulation.


Gaudi sought to express through architecture the organic shapes of nature he observed in his explorations of the nearby mountains of Montserrat and Pareis and the caves of Mallorca and Colibato. His studies led him to the consistent usage of ruled geometrical forms, which he identified in rushes, reeds, tree trunks, and the human skeleton. For example, the interior of La Sagrada Familia is envisioned as a forest, with tree-like pillars divided into branches supporting a series of intertwined hyperboloid vaults.


Gaudi was the first to apply to common architecture the catenary curve -- an engineering device formerly limited to suspension bridges -- thereby adding great strength to his structures.

Gaudi's internal conception of space enabled him to visualize his designs in three dimensions and dispense with traditional plans in favor of casts or intricate and innovative models. For the Church of Colonia Guell, on a scale of 1:10, he crafted the columns and arches he wanted to achieve by inverting the floor and suspending from it strings (which represented the catenaries) tied to bags of birdshot (which represented the weight-bearing points of the building).


Gaudi employed the same technique in planning the fantastical main facade of the Casa Battlo, sculpting plaster models that would prefigure its unusual curved shapes. Overlaid with stunning, colorful combinations of stone, glass, iron, and ceramics that vibrate in the sunlit interplay of light and shadow, it has been likened to the impressionist water lilies of Claude Monet.


The wave-like effect was created by removing sections of the original wall and then covering one-hundred-eighty square meters of surface area with trencadis, broken pieces of glass and ceramic work collected from various sources and applied with limestone mortar. Gaudi integrated the ground, main, and first floors into a single rostrum; composed of flowing lava-like sandstone, its five curved openings are sealed with colored windows crowned by stained glass medallions and divided by eight bone-like columns. The facade's nine balconies feature balustrades perched on shell-shaped platforms and fashioned from single pieces of wrought iron carved to resemble Venetian masks.


Passing through the wrought iron barred doors of the front entrance, we are each outfitted with an audio guide and a device which resembles a mini-ipad but is actually a looking glass into the past. When viewed through its magical lens, every room appears furnished and decorated just as it was one hundred years ago.


We enter the cave-like general vestibule, where a blending of materials efficiently channels traffic between levels: inlaid marble flooring, wood and iron apertures and banisters, stucco-clad curved ceilings, and alternating flat and volumetric rectangular tiles in grey, sky blue, and lapis emblazoning the lower walls.


On the main floor, a reception hallway leads through double doors of iron grill work and wood to the Battlo family apartment; we are in a grotto, where the walls seem to have been eroded by wind and rain and a turtle shell skylight enhances the marine ambiance. A chimney room which served as Battlo's office transitions us from the public to the private areas of the house; here the undulating walls are plastered with gold leaf mosaics that cleverly camouflage the mushroom-shaped hollowed-out fireplace.


Overlooking the Passeig de Gracia, the grand salon was organized to function both as living quarters and a hub of social activity. On either side of the central room, screen style doors of wood and translucent glass -- which provide privacy when closed -- fold back like an accordion to create a unique, enlarged space wherein the natural illumination admitted by the generously-sized windows is softened by their stained glass upper panes. The ceiling swirls into a vortex around a lamp as fiery and magnetic as the sun. Exquisite details abound: colorful glass discs set in the door transoms; whirlpool-shaped ventilation grooves cut out above the windows; twisting reliefs accenting columnar capitals, shafts, and bases; and ergonomic handles modeled by the architect.


In one darkened bedroom a replica of the casa sits upon a table. Imitating our fellow tourists, we aim our ipads toward it, and are treated to a personal five-minute sound and light show, during which the whole process of construction and renovation is depicted as if the building were a living organism that moves and mutates, as its various faces are washed away by spectral waterfalls.

The dining room is situated in the rear of the flat; again curved forms predominate, and the oceanic theme is emphasized by a ceiling from which large drops of water are extruded and by the weather-softened dual column which accentuates the door to the back patio. The latter runs the entire breadth of the building, and is paved with familiar kaleidoscopic trencadis and ceramics recovered from the original structure. Above it rises the rear facade, which is draped with fifty-two windows and five levels of serpentine railed terraces, all conveying energy and lightness to the ensemble.


Our eyeballs bulging, is it possible that even greater delights await us? Climbing a simple winding staircase, we emerge from one of the two stairwells that anchor either end of the gloriously-landscaped roof terrace; linked by a large glass and iron skylight, each is capped by an arrangement of eight twisting chimneys clad in delicately colored trencadis. Two smaller chimney sets stand watch on opposite sides of the terrace. Transcending architecture, these organic forms, silhouettes, and textures are rendered as artistic works of substantial merit.


Crowning the edifice is a striking undulating roof that on the Passeig de Gracia facade is covered with glazed tiles in shades of red, blue, and green. Along the edge of this surface runs a spine-like composition of tubular and helmet-shaped ceramic pieces in a series of dual color combinations. A trencadis cylindrical base supports a four-armed cross atop bulbous tower; when the latter was broken in transit, Gaudi demurred calling for a replacement as he considered the cracks to have considerable aesthetic value.


On our way down, we pause to admire one more marvel: the central patio well, which Gaudi completely renovated so that all areas would receive adequate light. Larger windows were installed in the lower interior rooms; smaller windows higher up. Wooden slat openings set below the fixed glass provide improved ventilation throughout the flats. Peering through these windows, we are overcome by a sensation of underwater immersion. Fifteen thousand tiles clad the inner walls, all placed diagonally and by color such that equal illumination is achieved throughout the atrium: whitish tone in the basement; light blue on the main floor; medium blue on the second floor; and dark blue on the fourth floor.


The exit leads past a display of -- appropriately -- furniture pieces, mainly chairs (which I believe are reproductions), specially designed for the house by Gaudi. Crafted from ash, a wood that is durable and flexible, their rounded forms blend perfectly with the architectonic spaces they were assigned to and anatomically adapt to the postures of the body. Strikingly original is a double bench, in which two corner seats share an armrest.


Whatever exorbitant budget Monsieur Battlo allocated to his new home, one can be certain it was exceeded. Precise in technique and demanding in workmanship, Gaudi never hesitated to make changes in midstream, regardless of cost and often without asking permission of his client.

There's plenty more of him in this city, yet it's mere seasoning to the main course. Wrapping around a corner few blocks away is the modernist apartment complex, La Pedrera.


Another building in motion, its greystone facade -- which is self-supporting, another Gaudi innovation -- rises from the street like a sinuous open quarry sculpted by wind and water; elaborate wrought iron balcony railings swirl like seaweed washed up on the shore.


Here the roof terrace is a three-dimensional maze where we meander up and down steps, through covered passageways, and around chimneys, statues, and silhouettes that remind us of medieval monks or knights, some in natural sandstone, others sheathed in trencadis and broken glass. In the attic below, spread out in a vast interior beneath two-hundred-seventy brick catenary arches, which eliminate the need for columns and partitions, is the Espai Gaudi, an exhibit depicting Gaudi's life and work, including many original drawings and models.

Objects on our map appear closer and less elevated than the reality. Our long, arduous uphill trek in search of Gaudi's imaginative Park Guell leads us to the cross at its highest point and a panoramic view of Barcelona and the bay. From there we amble along the main viaduct and down to the arcade where unusual slanting columns bear the weight of the road above it. Supporting natural stone birds' nests and pine trees create the illusion that the whole structure was carved out of the mountain itself.


By the time we land at the twin Hansel-and-Gretel gingerbread-style entrance pavilions around 2:00 PM, tickets to the monumental zone are sold out, leaving us breathlessly longing for its "don't miss" contents: a mosaic-encrusted salamander crawling among similarly accoutered walls and fountains; the Sala Hispotila, a forest of eighty-six Doric columns inspired by ancient Greece, some perpendicular, some leaning; and a tiled bench resembling a mythical sea serpent curving around the terrace above it.


Other than a cursory circumnavigation, I am resigned to missing Spain's biggest draw, La Sagrada Familia, described by one critic as the most extraordinary church building in the history of art. Its anticipated completion date is 2026, which would be the centenary of the death of Gaudi, who himself worked on the project intermittently for forty years. The late afternoon sun, shadows, and impenetrable crowd obscure the grandeur of the two finished facades: the Nativity Facade, an astonishing sculpted tapestry, replete with ornate figures and symbolic scenes from nature; and the more austere Passion Facade, intended to portray the sins of man and the suffering of Christ in bare stone and harsh straight lines. If the interior will forever remain even a greater mystery to me, JSG, having managed to explore it a few days ago while I was in business meetings, is now qualified to extol its magnificent appointments: unique columns that evolve from four sides to eight to sixteen to circular as they rise to the ceiling; comprehensive, abstract, raised ornamentation; elaborate curved balcony and stairway iron railings.


Following the deaths of his niece and his two closest friends, Gaudi took refuge in his work and his Catholic faith, and devoted the last ten years of his life to La Sagrada Familia. A lifelong bachelor -- he had been rebuffed thirty years earlier by his only romantic interest -- he turned increasingly reclusive, shunning the dandy attire, immaculate grooming, gourmet meals, social happenings, and expensive carriage rides of his youth in favor of frugality, slovenliness, and shabby clothing. On June 7, 1926, as he was on his way to the Saint Felip Neri Church for his daily prayer and confession, he was struck by a tram and knocked unconscious. No one assisted the disheveled old man who lacked identity papers. A police officer eventually transported him to the Santa Creu Hospital, but by the time the chaplain of La Sagrada Familia recognized him, even the most expert medical attention could not revive him. He died three days later.

For dinner that evening, JSG astutely plucks from a bevy of options, El Cangrejo Loco (The Mad Crab), located at the end of the Olimpic Port Pier, a pleasant ten-minute stroll from our hotel. Neither of our fresh seafood platters disappoints: monkfish, swordfish, sea bass for me, prawns, mussels, crayfish, squid for JSG, washed down with beer and sangria.

Having determined to leave nothing to chance or the schemes of taxi drivers, we set off on foot the next morning for the Placa de Catalunya with forty-five minutes to spare; we arrive ten minutes sooner than if we had been chauffeured there by the wily Mohammed.

The city of Girona lies at the base of the Pyrenees about sixty miles northeast of Barcelona. Although currently a vibrant modern community boasting remarkable art nouveau architecture and a picturesque waterfront lined with colorful shops and restaurants, its principal attraction is the medieval old town, which has its roots in the pre-Roman era.


Speaking with a heavy accent that requires close attention, our charming female guide leads us past cobblestone open squares and along narrow walled pathways, pointing out the major points of interest: a lioness guarding the gate, which all who pass by are supposed to kiss; the eighty-six steps rising to the Gothic cathedral of Santa Maria; remnants of fortifications built in the first century by the Romans and rebuilt thirteen hundred years later; the Arabic baths, dating from the twelfth century and the best preserved Romanesque complex in the country; and the Jewish ghetto, or Call.


As she recounts several hundred years of Jewish history in about ten minutes, I'm wondering whether my fellow travelers are as intrigued as I am by the ancient mikvah, by the former residence of the thirteenth century Great Rabbi of Catalonia, Nahmanides (who was promptly identified by a local synagogue scholar as the town's most renowned citizen when I informed him of my visit), and by the woeful tale of the persecution and expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492. Afterward she turns us loose for just enough time to ferret out a couple of espressos and a bikini sandwich (so named, I speculate, either for its ham and cheese ingredients or its miniature dimensions).

We re-board our bus for another one hour ride north to the city of Figueres, birthplace of Salvador Dali but, more importantly, the site of the personal theatre-museum which he conceived in 1961 and continuously reconfigured until his death in 1989. The venture sprung from a request by the newly-appointed mayor that Dali donate a painting to the local Museum of Emporda; Dali flamboyantly replied that instead he would donate an entire museum, resurrecting the Municipal Theatre which had been destroyed by fire in 1939. Its remains, he said, would be highly suitable, "firstly, because I am an eminently theatrical painter; secondly, because the Theatre is opposite the church where I was baptized . . . and thirdly, because it was precisely in the vestibule room of the Theatre that I held my first painting exhibition."


Born in 1904, Dali studied in his home town until 1922, when he entered the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Madrid. Accused of fomenting unrest, he was expelled in 1926, whereupon he moved to Paris, met Picasso and Miro, and embraced the surrealism that would earn him his greatest accolades. He developed and articulated a "Paranoic-Critical Method" for accessing the subconscious by which the artist cultivates a genuine delusion yet remains aware that his reason and control is suspended. During this period he produced one of his most recognizable works, The Persistence of Memory, employing for the first time his image of a soft, melting pocket watch, which suggests a relative conception of time rather than one rigid or predetermined.


In 1929 he became romantically involved with a Russian immigrant ten years his senior, Gala, who would become his wife (in 1934) and his lifelong muse, inspiration, and financial manager.


In 1936 Dali moved to Paris; before long, however, he fell out of favor with the French Surrealists, who could not tolerate his neutral politics (most of them were Communists), his branching into a more traditional style, and his increasing commercialization and opportunism. At the outbreak of World War II, he fled to the United States, where his extravagance and ubiquity would make him world famous. He applied his name and talents to a variety of art forms: designing jewelry, clothes, furniture, retail store window displays, and stage sets for plays and ballets; collaborating with photographers and film makers; and publishing an autobiography.

In 1948, implicitly accepting the Franco dictatorship, Dali returned to Spain; he would spend the next three decades experimenting in his painting with many novel processes and media, including optical illusion, negative space, visual punning, pointillism, holography, and foreshortening. His intensifying interest in science, religion, and mathematics prompted him to invent a technique he labeled "Nuclear Mysticism," in which he sought to synthesize Christian iconography with images of material disintegration.

A master at self-promotion, Dali emphasized his ostentatious, imposing persona with a long cape, walking stick, haughty expression, upturned waxed moustache, and the memorable comment: "Every morning upon awakening I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali."

Whether interpreted as spontaneous antics or calculated performances, his outrageous behavior knew no limits. He arrived for a lecture carrying a billiard cue, leading a pair of Russian wolfhounds, and wearing a diving suit and helmet in which he almost suffocated. While working on a window display, he became so incensed by unauthorized changes that he shoved a decorative bathtub through the plate glass. He autographed books lying in a bed wired to a machine that monitored his brain waves and blood pressure. He was known to avoid paying tabs at restaurants by drawing on the checks he wrote, assuming correctly that the proprietors would not cash such valuable pieces of art. He often spoke in a bizarre combination of French, Spanish, Catalan, and English. He frequently traveled with a pet ocelot, and appeared in public on a number of occasions -- the Dick Cavett Show, for example -- with an anteater.

The Figueres Theatre-Museum is more than a repository; it is the embodiment and culmination of the life and work of this eccentric genius.


Dali wanted the pilgrimage to his spiritual center -- his crypt lies beneath the museum stage and cupola -- to begin in the outdoor leisure space, the Placa Gala-Salvador Dali, where he would introduce his vision and concepts and illustrate the great passions of his career: Catalan thought; science; academic art; and innovative art.


In front of the main facade, the golden egg-shaped head of philosopher Francesc Pujols rests tilted on a hand in a pose recalling Rodin's The Thinker; a classical influence is implied by his toga-clothed body and the marble bust of a Roman patriarch. In the adjoining square, an apple ball suspended from a pendulum dangles from the grasp of a sculptured Homage to Newton. Nearby are three sculptural tributes to Ernest Meissonier, the artist most admired by Dali; one sits on tall pedestal of huge tires. Dali completed the setting with one of his own creations: a grinning cardboard monster head balanced atop an egg with doll figures for its pupils and teeth and a television set implanted in its forehead.

Eggs are everywhere; they are the artist's method of looking back into the womb, where prenatal gestation, the result of love, engenders hope for mankind.

On the top of the building and on the lower balcony are statues -- male and female -- holding loaves of bread, Dalinian crutches, and bulging hydrogen atoms; one wears a diving suit, signaling to visitors that they are about to be submerged in the depths of the unconscious.


We walk through the vestibule into the courtyard garden and are greeted by, according to Dali, the largest surrealist monument in the world, the Rainy Taxi, a Dionysian festival in which we are both witnesses and participants. A gorgeous 1930's Cadillac convertible -- which is both fossil and mobile machine -- grabs our attention; behind the cracked glass windows we see two plaster passengers and a chauffeur bathed in an eerie green light and intermittently doused by indoor showers. Astride the bonnet stands a full-figured Queen Esther. Behind the car rises another towering column of oversize tires supporting a marble bust of Francois Giradon, a black sculpture -- the Slave -- by Michelangelo, and a sailboat of Gala's resting on crutches. Simulated drops of water hang from the keel, and atop the mast is attached an umbrella, which opens with the donation of a coin, producing the aforementioned rain.

The surrounding walls are covered with a profusion of decorative elements: twenty-one gilded art deco mannequins, whose impassiveness contrasts with the carnival-like atmosphere; a chorus of angels in the form of washbasins, whose whiteness mirrors the purity of the soul; and a series of four grotesque monsters constructed of snails, shells, tree trunks, branches, rocks, and old stone, ecstatically contemplating the spectacle below them.


Ascending the ramps from the courtyard, we reach the impressive stage of the old Municipal Theatre and gaze upward at its capstone, the stunning geodesic cupola. Dali remarked on the occasion of the death of the architect, Perez Pinero, that he had built nothing "more glittering and personal than this roof," and that its transparency and reticular design gave it the the sensation of multiple structures, which "end up being synthesized into a glorious and everlasting light."

The murals on either side of us are suggestive of the Sistine Chapel. To our left two enormous hands -- one with the pointing finger of the Creator -- reach toward each other while holding a white sheet; to our right a muscular figure with a cube head is wringing out a dripping blue cloth like a rainmaker. Below him hangs Dali's brilliant photographic oil, Gala Nude Looking at the Sea, the first use of digital imaging in painting. The small-formatted face of Abraham Lincoln in the lower left is a clue that we are to step back eighteen meters in order to see his full portrait superimposed on the same canvas.


Straight ahead, blanketing the entire wall, is a composition Dali created for the ballet Labyrinth based on the myth of Theseus and Ariadne. Behind an enormous female bust with a hollow solar plexus -- Dali believed knowledge resided in empty spaces -- emerges a phantasmagoric landscape depicting the journey from the calm sea of birth to the jagged coast of death.


Two galleries on this level -- the red-velvet-upholstered Treasure Room and the Fishmongers' Crypt -- contain important works in a variety of themes: The Basket of Bread, a much-studied example of realism, which Dali construed as "the total enigma" and most satisfying to his imagination; Leda Atomica, conjoining elements of mythology and mathematics, all weightless, floating in air; Port Alguer, a view of Cadaques which contrasts an impressionist harbor with a structuralist urban montage; The Spectre of Sex Appeal, in which the boy Dali, dressed as a sailor, confronts the fantastical monster of sexuality amid the imposing landscape of his childhood, the rocky Cap de Creus; and Soft Self Portrait with Grilled Bacon, in which Dali's amorphous face rests on a pedestal beside a slice of bacon, a symbol of organic matter and daily breakfasts.


Both Sex Appeal and Self Portrait are supported by crutches, which represented for the artist death and resurrection.


A stairway brings us to the Mae West Room, wherein Dali has transformed the two-dimensional wash on newspaper Face of Mae West which may be Used as an Apartment into a three-dimensional "dream that can be used as a living room." We mount a few steps and peer through a reducing lens hanging from the belly of a giant camel at an arrangement of weird objects that have magically coalesced into two eyes (photographic enlargements of two pointillist paintings), a nose (a chimney with logs), a coiffure (a huge woven shawl), and a botox-infused pair of lips (a sumptuous armless sofa). Overhead is an upside down bath and in the reception area a Venus de Milo reproduction, to whose "external turgidity" Dali added drawers representing "the subconscious, guilt, mental perfection, faith, hope, charity, and surrealism."


The Palace of the Wind apartment (named after the ferocious Tramontana which blows over Figueres) includes a bedroom, a studio, and the central gallery, the last dominated by the magnificent ceiling painting of the same title. Their feet planted in space, from a foreshortened perspective Dali and Gala pour a shower of gold, both material and spiritual, over Figueres and the spectators. On the left side the couple sits on a quayside rail contemplating the boat on which they have sailed the voyage of life. On the right side appear familiar images: soft clocks, the wheel of knowledge (conceptualized by thirteenth century Catalan philosopher Raymond Llull), elephants with insects' wings, and the soft face of the great masturbator.


One room is devoted to Dali's obsession with stereoscopy -- a mechanical process for perceiving the third dimension -- and optical illusions. Both were two more tools he could employ in pursuit of his lifelong mission: to materialize the phantoms that haunt contemporary man; to give substance to his dreams, desires, fears, and anxieties.


Art appreciation overload is setting in, yet we've got at least a hundred more pieces to peruse. Among the most notable are: Portrait of Gala with Two Lamb Chops Balanced on Her Shoulder, uniting the two things Dali loved the most, with the lamb chops offered in "expiatory sacrifice"; Poetry of America,  in which two American athletes of different races clash above a Coca-Cola bottle spilling black ink on a white sheet against a backdrop of an African skin; "Cuant Cau Cau" (When it falls, it falls), another tribute to Francesc Pujols, a Dutch still life transformed into soft clocks, protruding hooks, open table drawers, and strange animals; and The Allegory of Memory (by Dali's friend, Antoni Pitxot), in which the three powers of the soul -- memory, understanding, and will -- are depicted as voluptuous females composed of volumetric rock formations.




One amazing exhibit remains: the jewelry collection, housed in a separate wing of the Museum. Dali designed the pieces on paper, specifying the precise shapes, materials, and colors, and carefully supervised their manufacture in the New York studio of Argentinian gold/silversmith Carlos Alemany. They passed through a number of owners -- including the prestigious Owen Cheatham Foundation (Owen's brother Henry lived in Lynchburg, and apparently arranged a showing at the Fine Arts Center back in the '70's, an amateur historian friend reminded me) -- before being acquired in 1999 from a Japanese entity by the Dali Foundation for 5.5 million euros. Demonstrating his signature iconography, Dali combined gold, silver, platinum, and precious metals to fashion human hearts, lips, and eyes, plant and animal forms, religious and mythological symbols, and anthropomorphic shapes.

One of the most dazzling items is The Royal Heart, about which Dali wrote: "The rubies that beat [in the center] represent the queen, whose heart beats constantly for her people. The pure gold [encasing the center] symbolizes the people who shelter and protect their sovereign."


Sublimity yields to chaos and frustrations borne of weariness. Returned to Placa de Catalunya in Barcelona, we set off in search of dinner, diversion, and our hotel, and encounter a mass Saturday night celebration. Tracing a map route through narrow, twisting, unmarked alleys with poor light and poorer eyesight leads us into either dead ends or impassable squares so crammed with Catalans I suffer a panic attack. Every square foot of La Rambla -- all six pedestrian lanes running three-quarters of a mile -- is as congested as Times Square. Food pickings are slim and mostly inedible at La Boqueria (the City Market); despite my hunger I discard half of my packet of mystery fried seafood, then wash down the aftertaste with a cup of ruby red fruit punch. We confirm the value of free entertainment twice: first, by watching a dismal modern dance routine in which the performers' gymnastics are assisted by overhead cables; and second, by standing in line for one hour for admittance to a huge bulbous tent on the ceiling of which is projected a swirling hallucinogenic sound and light show, with apologies to Senors Gaudi and Dali.

Nevertheless, we are up the next morning rejuvenated and primed for further adventure. What better way to occupy the six hours before our scheduled airplane departure than continue the theme of art, architecture, and self-improvement and check out the Picasso Museum? Alas, it's sold out -- but something to look forward to on our next trip to this fabulous city.





































Tuesday, August 18, 2015

A Smorgasbord of Delights


With four cycling adventures under my belt -- Italy and Slovenia, Ireland, Czech Republic and Austria, and New Zealand -- and not having settled in for a long ride since March 2014, is it possible I could be suffering pangs of withdrawal -- from strenuous pedaling for days through strange territory, from trying to decipher obscure directional signs in a foreign language, from clinging to the edge of the road as reckless vehicles whiz by, from wondering if the burning soreness in my nether parts will ever dissipate, from sifting through my carry-all every morning futilely searching for a clean shirt?

Of course I am, with the encouragement of JSG. Family issues having narrowed our window of options, she lights upon a place heretofore not on the upper tier of my bucket list but nevertheless intriguing: Scandinavia, specifically Stockholm, Sweden, and Copenhagen, Denmark, organized by the reputed gold standard of active vacationing, the aptly-named Backroads.

Exposed to some soaring overseas pricing by our last-minute enrollment, we choose the rather inconvenient origination port of Dulles International, which does offer the minor benefit of requiring only a single transfer (Amsterdam on the way over, Paris on the return) and the more delightful one of a pre-departure layover with my younger son Matthew, his wife Patricia, and their one-year-old daughter Ana Maria in their new Alexandria home.

Three times the size of their former urban DC matchbox, it's noticeably void of sofas, chairs, and occasional pieces -- in spite of their having a friend in the furniture business -- but fortunately contains a pull-out trundle bed large enough to accommodate their two guests.

We don't have to check in until 3:30 the next afternoon, so we have several hours for exercise (jogging or walking, no bicycles yet), an important family discussion (the details of which will be revealed in good time), and my first exploration of the Old Town. After a superb brunch at the Vermillion (ask for upstairs window seating) featuring duck-fat fried corned beef and grits, veggie omelet with spinach, goat cheese, and zucchini, brioche French toast, and salmon in squid ink tomato sauce, we amble up and down the busy brick-paved sidewalks (it's the Fourth of July) searching for that bargain-priced item he or she can't live without; it turns out to be a chocolate milk shake Patricia is happy to share as we loiter in the mini-harbor and gaze patriotically across the Potomac at our nation's capital.

Our overnight flight is not without interest. The sun sets and rises in the span of an hour, alerting us to the latitudinal oddities of our destination. Our courteous KLM attendant offers a business class upgrade to my hefty seatmate for only 16,000 miles, which, much to my dismay, he declines, although later on he accepts a presumably free relocation to "somewhere with more leg room." I wipe out the field in computerized "hold 'em poker," winning $19,000, and improve my score in golf from 115 to 75 once I master the swing speed and angle of ball strike. JSG meets a family of four from Lynchburg en route to Kiev on an Olive Branch International Bible Study Mission; the patriarch is Dean of the Liberty School of Aeronautics and a former F-15C fighter pilot whose succinct answer to my innocent question "How does a 500,000 pound Airbus A330 get off the ground?" -- "Lift" -- leaves me feeling like an idiot.

"And at 180 miles per hour," he might have added, which explains why our more sedate 120-mph Arlanda Express fast train hugs the rails so smoothly and quietly as it speeds from the airport to Downtown Stockholm.

"There's our hotel," I exclaim to JSG, as we emerge bleary-eyed from the station, desperate for a place to deposit our bags and rest our weary bones. Yes, it's the Radisson Blu Royal Viking, with a very enticing dark-paneled lobby, which is all of it we're going to see; our reservations are at the Radisson Blu Waterfront, just around the corner, we are abruptly informed by a clerk, after we have waited ten minutes while an annoying couple breaks in line and complains to him about everything from their beds to their view.

It's not quite that close, but once we're there, it does overlook the water, although there are so many rivers, lakes, bays, canals, and bridges in this city, it's impossible to use that as a point of orientation. After a brief respite (travel rules dictate no naps, even after a sleepless night), we set off in search of city sights, Rick Steves's indispensable guidebook in hand. We skirt the impressive eight-million-brick-faced copper-roofed City Hall and turn west along Lake Malaren toward a small park, passing several historic fishing and pleasure boats permanently docked in the harbor.


Reversing course, we head toward our second Old Town (Gamla Stan, in Swedish) in two days, an island of narrow cobblestone streets and alleys flanked by souvenir shops, antique dealers, clothing and jewelry stores, ethnic restaurants, beer pubs with live music, coffee and gelato bars, and a number of Steves landmarks, all of which elude us: a bronze King Gustav III gazing at the Royal Palace; a towering obelisk honoring merchants who supported a war with Russia in 1788; the tiny Iron Boy statue; another of St. George slaying the dragon; and the city's oldest church.

Principally focused on a suitable dinner spot, we stumble upon a Steves pick-of-the-pack: the Hermitage, an innocuous self-service joint whose vegetarian medley -- black-eyed pea soup, spicy ratatouille, tender boiled potatoes, cabbage slaw, and brown rice -- is surprisingly tasty.

It's a foreshadowing of the smorgasbord that awaits us the next morning at breakfast, the first in a week-long series in which each episode becomes increasingly elaborate in presentation and copious in selection as more stars light up on our hotel marquee, although the basics never vary: oat or wheat porridge; eggs scrambled or hard or soft-boiled; thick slices of bacon; pork or turkey sausages; baked beans; grilled tomatoes; delicate pancakes surrounded by thimbles of maple syrup; blueberries, strawberries, pineapple, honeydew, cantaloupe, mango, and yoghurt for sampling by the spoonful or in glass cups; reindeer pate; smoked salmon; platters of gouda, brie, and sharp cheddar cheese; delicious jams begging for more croissants to be spread upon; and stacks of hard rolls, cinnamon buns, fresh doughnuts, chocolate chip muffins, glazed pastries, and almond cookies.

Thus we're fortified for a day of Stockholm stalking. After a quick stop for a collapsible umbrella (to protect me from the steady rain, since, ignoring the forecast, I failed to pack the proper gear), we follow a map through the Central Business District toward another island, Djurgarden -- formerly the king's hunting ground, now a national park -- which JSG has astutely targeted as a happening place.

I've never heard of the Vasa, and therefore have not an inkling of the marvel that greets us once we have traversed a darkened corridor into the main gallery of the museum of the same name; like Lilliputians, we are staring up at the huge wooden hull (155 ft. long, 38 ft. wide, 63 ft. tall at the stern) of a seventeenth-century warship, somehow intact three hundred years after its creation.


Commissioned by King Gustavus II Adolphus to support his war with Poland-Lithuania, fashioned from one thousand oaks, armed with forty-eight big guns (and sixteen smaller ones) on two decks, propelled by ten sails on three masts topping 170 ft, adorned with hundreds of gilded and painted sculptures, manned by a crew of 145, on August 10, 1628, the Vasa was launched on its maiden voyage.

Encountering a stiff breeze, she heeled to port, then righted herself. But less than a mile further a stronger gust blew her completely over, swamping the open lower gun ports and flooding the hold. While hundreds of spectators gaped in disbelief, the ship quickly sank thirty feet to the bottom, only four hundred feet from a nearby island. About fifty persons perished; the rest were rescued.

Cold and minimally saline, the Baltic Sea is not friendly to the corrosive shipworm, which destroys wood submerged in warmer, saltier water. Which is why, on August 25,1956, amateur archaeologist Anders Franzen, after a three-year search, was able to extract a plug of blackened oak from a large object which a few days later navy diver Per Edvin Falting, feeling around in the dark, confirmed as "the side of a ship" with two rows of gun ports. The Vasa had been found.

Franzen and Falting would be the first to board the resurrected vessel when it surfaced on the morning of April 24, 1961. Toiling in total darkness under hundreds of tons of mud, divers spent two years digging six tunnels beneath the ship, through which steel cable slings were passed and attached to pontoons. As the pontoons were successively filled and emptied, the hulk was lifted in sixteen stages to a shallow area. It took two more years for divers to clear refuse from the upper decks, fill thousands of rusted-out iron bolt holes, reconstruct the broken stern, and fit the gun ports with watertight hatches. The ship was able to float on its own keel once emptied of water and sludge by powerful bilge pumps.

To prevent the waterlogged hull from splitting and shrinking, it was sprayed -- for seventeen years, round the clock, twenty-five minutes on, twenty off -- with the chemical PEG, which can penetrate wood and displace water (in this case, 580 tons). Then followed a long period of slow drying, still ongoing. The restored relic, 98 percent original, was moved to its current resting place in 1988.


All this and more come to life on six levels of remarkable exhibits: full-size replicas of the colorful carved decorative sea monsters, mermaids, angels, warriors, and Biblical and mythical figures that symbolized the King's supremacy; dioramas illustrating the construction, sailing techniques, and salvaging of the ship; casements displaying clothing, shoes, coins, pipes, combs, plates, spoons, and skeletal remains found in the wreck; an iron cone or bell, like the one which enabled divers in 1663-1665 to recover fifty of the Vasa's guns as they worked underwater in thirty-minute intervals surviving on a small pocket of air; a video depicting the contemporary inquiry into the cause of the disaster, in which the captain, the builder, and the harbormaster all swore their innocence, the latter claiming -- when queried, "Whose fault is it, then?" -- "Only God knows."

All three had suspected a problem, but fearful of angering the King, they buttoned their lips. The ship had failed a common stability test of the period; thirty sailors running back and forth across its deck had to desist, lest it capsize. The hold was too small to accommodate the ballast necessary to offset the ship's extreme height and weight. While one more meter in width would have been sufficient to keep it afloat for years, the world would have been deprived of a priceless treasure.

A tribute to another Swedish legend -- who rivaled Volvo as the country's foremost economic engine back in the '70's -- lies only a cannonball shot away: the ABBA Museum. The quartet's 380 million album and singles sales are surpassed only by the Beatles in the pantheon of musical singing groups. We're not really interested in a high-tech sound-and-lights show or an interactive studio jam session, so we skirt the ticket seller and make a beeline for the gift shop. We're on the prowl for ABBA memorabilia; the acronym is a transliteration of the Hebrew word for "father" and the label I slapped on myself with the birth of my first grandchild. My initial thought was to purchase an appropriately imprinted tee shirt for myself, but since that's the last thing I need, especially one that glitters, we depart with three junior sizes in hand, pink and blue for the girls, black for the boy, and a photo of Abba's face perched atop the svelte, sequin-garbed body of Benny Andersson (or is it Bjorn Ulvaeus?) alongside his fellow rockers.


We soldier on through the continuing drizzle to Djurgarden's other main attraction, the 75-acre mountaintop open-air Skansen Museum. The complex dates back to 1891, when Artur Hazelius, intent upon preserving the record of a peasant culture being superseded by industrialization, began transplanting his collection of buildings and artifacts to the site. It's a Swedish Williamsburg, except that rather than compacted in a simple grid the village pieces are dispersed in a random sprawl.

The funicular rail which swiftly lifts us to the summit is like a time machine; disembarking, we are immersed in the nostalgic charm of a bygone era as we wander through the town quarter, the rural settlement, and the animal preserve, pausing when our curiosity is piqued for closer inspections of: a blower crafting a wine glass at the Glassworks; all the belts, pulleys, shafts, and cranks of the 1920's Engineering Works; from the same period, footstools and chairs in various stages of manufacturing at a Furniture Factory (of course); a General Store in the Printer's Courtyard, where I demonstrate my prowess with a locally-made wood yo-yo; cakes and breads beckoning through the doorway of an 1870's bake shop; the stone and thatched-roof cottage of a fisher family, who owned no land, only a cow and a couple of sheep; the itinerant Farm Labourer's Cottage, where the household shared a single room and was paid largely in food; the Segura Church, which dates back to the early 1700's and contains the original pulpit, organ, and ceiling frescos; strange-looking log and turf tepees and huts on stilts, representative of the primitive living quarters of the indigenous Scandinavian Sami people; and artificial habitats for reindeer (none in sight), lynx (also missing in action), wolves, wolverines, brown bears, seals, otters, European bison, wild boars, and striking black-and-white furred Guereza monkeys.
                                             
By now, 6:00 PM, the rain has abated; we snatch an outdoor table at the cafe near the park's exit, split a beer, and decide to go lightly -- shrimp salad for JSG, salmon salad for me -- while relaxing to the snappy beat of a string and drum combo.


The next morning, Tuesday, we move out, bags in our wake, and hike thirty minutes across town to rendezvous with our tour group at the Grand Hotel, from which, after the proper introductions have been made, we are shuttled to our starting blocks.

If I've been accused, with justification (by whom I won't say) of blasting wildly to the head of pack, of pumping frantically to reach the goal line as quickly as possible, of failing to dawdle long enough to sniff -- much less scope out -- the roses, I plead guilty with two provisos: (1) There's no more satisfying feeling (well, maybe one) than stripping off one's confining bike shorts and stepping under a hot shower and the sooner the better; and (2) I see plenty, and will enthusiastically attest to the indisputable merits -- exercise, learning, and glorious scenery -- of this means of travel.

And yet when one has been dazzled by the vistas, vineyards, mountains, and valleys of Italy's Friuli Region and Slovenia, by the lush greenery, gray limestone, and rocky seacoast of Western Ireland, by the grand architecture and rich history of Prague and Vienna, and by the topographical, biological, and climacteric diversity of New Zealand's South Island, he turns insufferably jaded and snobbishly difficult to impress.


While there are a handful of memorable images -- our first sighting of a thatched roof, soon eclipsed by dozens more; a huge windmill rising behind a cluster of buildings in a small town; a familiar name, Nygard, painted on the gatepost of an isolated logger's home; the abrupt downhill entrance to the grounds of the Fredericksborg Castle, sitting majestically on three islands in the middle of a lake; a string of harbors along the Copenhagen shoreline where at least a thousand boats are docked; a broad shimmering pond which morphs into a field of purple wildflowers upon our approach -- cycling in this part of the world lacks variety, the "wow" moments that defy description, and the photo stops that usually leave JSG bringing up the rear.


The terrain here is relatively flat, motor vehicles are few and far between, and bike trails abound -- for all of which we are grateful. On the other hand, a landscape that consistently alternates between endless grassy meadows and dense evergreen forests soon borders on the tedious. Now and then a stray sheep, cow, or horse pops into view, and invariably the adjacent cottage or barn is clad in scarlet red with white trim. Passing through several villages, I am fascinated by their peculiar method of speed control: two lanes narrow to one every few blocks. We are told to be on the lookout for stunning waterfront views, yet they're always just over the horizon or screened by the heavy foliage. And probably our most picturesque route -- along an archipelago -- is spoiled by inclement weather.


It's Day Two, and all during breakfast, our ninety-minute boat ride to a pristine setting, and our preparatory fitting out -- for which our jovial captain offers us the insulation of his rustic yet artfully decorated cabin -- the principal topic of conversation is the forecast; unfortunately, there's a ninety percent chance of precipitation for the next four hours, by unanimous consensus of eighteen smart phones. The temperature is a chilly sixty degrees; the wind is gusting at a harsh ten to fifteen miles per hour; the rain is picking up in intensity. Yet every one of these bright, sophisticated, middle-aged (or older, in my case) overachievers saddles up for what is certain to be pure misery.

I guess we're all bitten by the elephantine pride that says, "We've gotten this far, and we're not going to be foiled by the vagaries of Mother Nature," and by the rat in the closet that says, "If they can do it, so can I."

This is one time I pay dearly for my deficient equipment. As opposed to the very wise and foresighted JSG, I don't have a true water-proof jacket (only one that's water-resistant), nor anything to cover my legs, nor any plastic Walmart goggles to keep my vision clear. Within minutes, the relentless rain and wind have drenched every piece of my clothing -- shirt, pants, socks, shoes, gloves, even jock-strap -- and every inch of my exposed flesh, and rendered my eyeglasses worthless. The downhills only increase the ferocity of the storm, so for the first time in my brief cycling career, I'm peering ahead into the mist looking for the relief of decelerating inclines, which, of course, are scarcer than ever before.


And finally, after two hours of battling the elements and questioning my sanity, to add insult to injury, when turning off the road for our now indoor picnic lunch at Wira Bruk, I zig left over a wooden bridge instead of zagging right, plunge my front wheel between two planks, and scrape my leg in a nasty spill. Once safely under roof and warmed by a dry fleece, I'm content to declare my mission accomplished (or aborted, depending on one's point of view), as do all but two (Tony and Dino, who persevere to the end) of my sodden mates; without compunction we eagerly clamber aboard our Backroads van for expeditious transport to our ferry.

If that is the week's nadir, it is more than compensated for by a plethora of delights:

*Drottningholm Theater, at the palace residence of the Swedish royal family, a 1766 project of the self-styled doyenne of European culture, Queen Lovisa Ulrika, which almost bankrupted her husband, King Adolf Frederik, in spite of the constraints imposed on his architect, Carl Frederik Aldecrantz, who resorted to second-hand wallpaper, stucco pilasters, paper mache corbels, and painted draperies to meet his budget and whose only remuneration was a free room.


Falling dormant after the murder of the King's successor, Gustaf III, in 1792, the theater was unearthed one-hundred-thirty years later by historian Agne Beijer. With stage machinery, decorative sets, and manual sound equipment still operational, it was speedily refurbished and reopened to glowing reviews on August 19, 1922. His soliloquy concluded, our director ducks out of sight with JSG to roll over some rocks and rattle a curtain, announcing that, oh no, more thunder, rain, and wind are ominously close by.

*Our one night stand in the picturesque seaside town of Trosa, translated into English as "panties" but known to the Swedes as the "World's End," maybe because -- transected by a canal filled with boats, overlaid with a sprinkling of arched bridges, incubator of 1600 companies amongst a population of only 10,000 -- it's like a miniature Venice. I doubt, however, that even that wonderland can claim a hotel as novel and eclectic as the one where we are lodged: Bomans, the surname of the proprietress Kristin, whose fearless flair for fantastic interiors rescued it, in her words, from the "trash heap" twenty-seven years ago and made it a destination.


Each of its fifty rooms is uniquely and thematically decorated in accord with the special nameplate gracing its doorpost. Ours is the "Von Linne," a man who's a mystery to me until I ask Kristin herself; christened Carl Linnaeus upon his ennoblement, he's the Swedish scientist who devised the binomial nomenclature for classifying all lifeforms. Instantly enlightened, I can now comprehend all the greenery and scrawl covering our wallpaper; they're plants, about twenty-five species, each underscored with its proper botanical designation. We also sneak a peek at "Madam Boman's Boudoir," furnished with a shoe cabinet, a perfume case, a silver chandelier, and a round bed, and at "Eidelweiss," where embroidered dirndls hang on the wall, sheaves of hay enhance the ambiance, and a wagon wheel dangles overhead.


*Fredericksborg Castle, Scandinavia's finest, completed in 1620 for King Christian IV, rebuilt after a fire in 1859, and converted to a museum twenty years later, still securely ensconced behind its triple-moat defenses and flaunting all the geometric precision of its Renaissance architecture. We've allocated about an hour for a whirlwind attack, but spurning the audio aide and having stashed Steves in a remote zipper pocket, we're on our own in a very big place, and JSG and I soon part ways, by accident and only temporarily, thank goodness.


After entering through the Knights' Parlor and detouring two flights up a winding staircase to an odd gallery devoted to the history of women in Danish politics, I manage to stumble into the palace's three most notable rooms: first, Number 39, where sits a gear-driven golden globe, encompassing in its center a tiny model of the solar system, representative of Copernicus's heliocentric theory which placed the sun, not the earth, at the center of the world; second, the Great Hall, scene of hundreds of balls and musical performances, its floor a pattern of inlaid marble, its walls bedecked with lush tapestries and imperious portraits, its wood-carved paneled ceiling a gorgeous mosaic of gold-stippled reds, browns, and greens so riveting to the eye it strains the neck; and third, the Royal Chapel, the nave all columns, pillars, and sculptures in gilded marble and gray stone, the heavens spanned by a network of intricate arches, the aisles lined with the coats of arms of persons who have received royal orders from the Danish crown, including Nelson Mandela, Dwight Eisenhower, and Winston Churchill.


*Our fifth, final, and most scenic day of riding, along the Danish Riviera and through the Zealand forests and charming countryside just north of Copenhagen, where we are not alone, since in this "Best City for Cyclists," fifty percent of the workers commute by bicycle, about 800,000 miles a day over 270 miles of dedicated lanes (no runners or pedestrians, please), including one intersection with a daily bike count of 38,000.


We mount at a small park, but ironically, after only five kilometers, come to a screeching halt under the distinctive oval canopy, or mushroom as it's been dubbed by the locals, of a 1936 filling station which is still pumping petrol, a testament to its billing as a model of the future; its functional style is typical of the period and of the renowned architect Arne Jacobsen, who designed it and a nearby beach resort, housing complex, and theater. Later in the afternoon we regroup for a snack at the former estate and grounds (now a museum) of another Danish celebrity, Karen Blixen; although we don't have time to venture inside, I take a mental snapshot and slide it into my travel portfolio alongside the mate I deposited there fifteen years ago when I visited her other residence in Nairobi.


*And of course more smorgasbords, at just about every lunch stop along the way, each one topping the last -- wild boar stew, more grilled tomatoes, more boiled potatoes (but so fresh they must have just been plucked), crusty homemade breads, mini beef burgers, cucumber salad, baked salmon, juicy strawberries with cream, a lavish cold cut and cheese spread -- until we reach the piece de resistance at Fredricksborg Castle's Cafe Havehust: pork meat loaf, tomatoes and mozzarella, broccoli salad with apples, vegetable quiche, and cherry cake with marzipan icing.

We've put away our bicycles -- the most luxurious I've ever ridden, by the way -- and now must cover in one day as much of Copenhagen as possible on foot. During a brief two-hour loop, our morning guide, Christian (a popular name in these parts), embellishes important sights with his comprehensive knowledge of history and culture:

*St. Nicholas Church, circa 1211, Copenhagen's third oldest, the church of sailors, fishermen, and traders, situated close to the shore so it could be used as a lighthouse, its sixteenth century tower a monumental example of Renaissance architecture, destroyed by fire in 1795, later rebuilt and converted to an avant-garde concert hall and contemporary art center;

*The equestrian statue of Absalon, Bishop of Roskile, holding a mace in his hand rather than a sword to symbolize the bloodless motives of his crusades, patron of the King and sponsor of religious-expansionist expeditions against the Wends (Western Slavs), founder of Copenhagen in 1167 at "Havn," the businessman's harbor, where he constructed a castle for coastal defense;

*The Round Tower, offering -- after a strenuous ascent up a spiraling inner ramp -- breathtaking views of a grandiose urban legoland, a field of red-tiled roofs, and off in the distant Baltic a forest of power-generating windmills, branded with the logo (a crowned letter "C" enclosing the numeral "4") of its 1642 commissioner, the notorious King Christian IV, boisterous, exuberant, multilingual, and possessing a prodigious appetite for wine, women, revelry, and conquest, the last of which ultimately bankrupted the country after his death;


*Amalienborg Square, surrounded on three sides by mansions housing Queen Margrethe II and her husband, Crown Prince Frederik and his Australian wife Mary Donaldson, and their royal guests, the centerpiece of an elite neighborhood established in 1750 by Frederik V for the newly-rich mercantile class in gratitude for the financial and ministerial assistance he was dependent on from them as a chronic alcoholic;

*Nearby, The Little Mermaid statue, immortalizing the tragic heroine of Hans Christian Andersen's famous fairy tale, a gift to the city in 1909 from brewing magnate Carl Jacobsen who was inspired by the ballet version, ignored and unappreciated for forty years until Danny Kaye's lyrical "Wonderful Copenhagen" in the Anderson musical awakened the city fathers to its marketing potential;

*The Opera House, staring at us across the harbor like a futuristic spaceship with its glass and grid curved front and massive canopy, one of the most expensive ever built, a $500 million tax-deductible gift from the A. P. Moller family, the principal shareholders of the international shipping empire Maersk, and its heir Maersk Mc-Kinney Moller, who demanded that no expense be spared to ensure its functional and architectural permanence and whose death in 2012 deprived the city of $45 million in annual income tax revenue;


*The gentrified pier along the north side of the Nyhavn Canal, overlooked by three- and four-story townhouses draped in colorful yellow, green, blue, gray, and brick-red pastel facades, bordered by a string of restaurants, pubs, and gelato shops, their tables overflowing onto the sidewalk, at which nary a seat is to be found. We move indoors for a smorrebrod luncheon at the Cap Horn, sort of a miniature smorgasbord, consisting of slices of dense sourdough buttered rye bread topped with, separately, tangy chicken salad, pickled herring with onions, roast beef and horseradish, pork sausage with cucumber salad, and blue cheese garnished with pear and hazelnut.


Afterward, we must bid a bittersweet farewell to sixteen new friends -- unknown to us a week ago -- whose delightful company has transformed a mildly pleasurable journey into one quite extraordinary.


Tony's a research endocrinologist from Boston who educates me on the future of internal medicine, at least in big cities: "boutique" practices, where patients pay a monthly retainer to guarantee access. His wife Judy, with whom he kindled a romance at their fifth Harvard reunion, is a non-practicing attorney whose own "boutique" business endears her to JSG: counseling students on their best choices for college and graduate school. Not only did she grow up in Highland Park, Illinois, she lived across the street from the ultra-reform synagogue my first wife attended, she says, once I extract from the deep recesses of my memory its baptismal moniker: "Our Lady of Lakeside."

Peter is a tax attorney from Tampa, Florida, a fan of the Tampa Lightning (and its owner, former hedge fund mogul and philanthropist Jeffrey Vinik), a compulsive sports participant himself now hobbled by joint problems, and not an aficionado of mindless mysteries (like I am), which is a shame since his high net worth client roster includes one of the genre's best, Michael Connelly (whose novels have been adapted into two films, "Blood Work" and "The Lincoln Lawyer" and into the Amazon television series "Bosch"). In this small world, he and his wife Karla, also a higher ed advisor, are no strangers to our beautiful state, having sent a son to the University of Virginia; they perk up at the mention of two of our own Tampa connections: JSG's sister and the ex-wife (now deceased) of a college roommate of mine.

Arthur's an accountant from Brooklyn (or "an island in New York" for those who've never heard of it) who's a veteran of fourteen Back Roads trips and who keeps in shape by cycling home from his office at least once a week via the city's bike-sharing system, which often leaves him stranded, since the forty-five minute time limit usually expires ten minutes before he reaches his destination. His wife Miriam is a finance executive with the City University of New York, whose third-largest enrollment in the U. S. (525,000 plus a staff of 38,000) doesn't allow her to stray too far from her Blackberry; she was recently elected Chair of the Board of Trustees of Goucher College, where she graduated a year after my sister Donna.

Two single ladies and one gent, all from New York, add spice to the party: Joyce, a psychologist who, I suspect, may be surreptitiously investigating the masochistic tendencies of otherwise healthy, intelligent, and well-adjusted adults; Janet, a retired ophthalmologist who warns us at the outset to be on lookout for the four "h's" of cycling, heat, humidity, hills, and headwind (she forgets hurricane); and Dino whose neck and arm tattoos and rhythmical nervous tic are a dead giveaway to his profession, heavy metal drumming. While his band, "The Pests," produces original recordings, the bulk of his and partners' income derives from the concert circuit, supplemented by studio back-up gigs. None of the five "h's" daunts Dino, who races to the point position and measures every heartbeat, kilometer, and calorie expended on his Fitbit.

Trained as a nephrologist, Howie's another physician who discovered early on an aversion to consultation and treatment; during his fellowship he double-downed on an MBA program and is now a principal in a venture capitalist firm specializing in the health care industry. Every morning he receives updates on breaking developments in the field and says he can't wait to get back to work and to his martial arts studio. His wife April loves to entertain family and friends, provided her guests bring along carry-home containers, as leftovers are guaranteed. We'll never forget the classic Copenhagen pub crawl "wrap sheet" Howie distributes at our closing dinner: a bike route template on which directions to three bars and distances (in hundredths of kilometers, no less) are precisely calibrated and levels of difficulty (beginner, intermediate, advanced) and elevations are measured by the quantity of alcohol each crawler imbibes.


Finally, there's John, who reminds me of the grizzled Civil War general William Sherman (rather than his genuine Confederate ancestor Robert Anderson), and his wife Brandee, who initiated their relationship twenty years ago when an acquaintance insisted she call him for a blind date. "I've had a lot," says John in his quiet unassuming manner when I ask him about his career. "The longest-running was international arbitrage. I'd get up at two in the morning, call Hong Kong, where we'd buy a stock, sell it in London, then repeat the process in New York and San Diego, taking advantage of tiny fluctuations in pricing and currency valuations. By 2001 I'd had enough and shut it down, including my World Trade Center office, five months before 9/11.

"I'm addicted to starting new companies," he says. "The first was in biotech in collaboration with a wheelchair-bound physicist whom I met while playing chess during lunch breaks from my Wall Street bond-trading desk." Even though he's recently taken up portrait painting and flying to India to vaccinate children, he's still got four percolating: Expero, which recruits and manages expert witnesses; Govx, which sells discounted excess sporting event tickets to firemen, policemen, military personnel, and first responders; Spy Optic, a purveyor of sports sunglasses and goggles; and Restorative Justice, a non-profit dedicated to reducing the prison population.

"Politics and raw power ruined one of my best deals," he tells me while we're walking to the train station. "In 1995, the year of the major league baseball strike, I figured team prices were at their lowest, and I made an offer for the Pittsburgh Pirates -- $65 million. And, Marc," he says, looking me squarely in the eye, "do you know how much they're worth today? [Of course I have no idea.] $365 million! I had several meetings with the other owners, and everything was progressing quite nicely until Senator John Heinz of the ketchup family got wind of my plan to move the franchise to a new stadium in Mexico City. 'You'll never take my Pirates away from Pittsburgh,' he snarled at me, and that was the end of the ball game."

As if I didn't already know it, "He hates to lose," says Brandee, as John explodes past me on our last mad dash back to our Copenhagen hotel.

Keeping us well-informed on everything from timetables to Scandinavian trivia, well-supplied with chex mix, fruit, and candy bars (even rounding up some Kit Kats at my request), and well-reinforced with motorized transport should the leg-driven mode become too taxing is our trio of leaders.

There's Jessie, of whom not much is seen, except when she waves from her driver's seat as her van zips past us and when she's judiciously planted at a hidden turn lest we miss it and pedal into oblivion.

Will is the consummate route wrapper (sometimes in excruciating detail) and Backroads booster. He quickly fills us in on the dining etiquette ("At your leisure" means they pick up the tab, sort of, since we've actually already paid; "on your own" means "on your own tab."), then presents a crash course on Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of human needs since, coincidentally, they mirror his company's philosophy (which is to provide food, shelter, and support; it's up to us to achieve self-actualization, or bliss). Never at a loss for words, he boasts a repertoire of timely tidbits -- such as the reason Stieg Larsson (author of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) never married his live-in girl friend (he would have to disclose his address, and he was a potential target of the criminal elements he wrote about) -- and titillating tales, including the one about the insufferable cyclist who got his just deserts when he grabbed his pouch of chamois butter and took a swallow thinking it was Gu Energy Gel.


Hugo may look like a movie star (a youthful Keanu Reeves, says Brandee), but lurking beneath that glamorous shell are the seriousness, sensitivity, intellectual depth, and athleticism of a Renaissance man. He speaks five languages -- Spanish (his native tongue), English, French, Swedish, and Arabic -- views the opening in 2000 of  the 7.5 mile bridge-tunnel linking Sweden and Denmark as a symbolic severing of the barriers between Russia and the West, and after this assignment is headed to Jordan to promote cycling as a means of reducing international tensions. I've been on five bike trips; he's the first of his breed to instruct me to hit the rear brake first and to encourage me to try drop handlebars to increase my speed, comfort, and efficiency.

For some true local color during the waning afternoon hours, Hugo recommends we check out Christiana, the bizarre "free city" established in 1971 when 700 squatters occupied an abandoned military base ten minutes from the Danish Parliament. If today there are a few more apartments, restaurants, playgrounds, shops, and tourists (but still no automobiles), nothing much else has changed in this communal haven for hippies, idealists, iconoclasts, and free-thinkers. Residents build their homes -- often from recycled materials -- but don't own them, since such capitalism is forbidden; when a vacancy occurs, it can be filled only by invitation. On a soil poisoned by fuel deposits, nothing grows, nor is there much industry; the unemployment rate hovers at thirty-three percent, but nobody complains.


Some might call it quaint, but to me it's a rural slum, its open areas encrusted with dirt, weeds, and stunted shrubs, its pitted gravel and cracked concrete paths littered with discarded bricks, tile, two-by-fours, paint cans, plumbing fixtures, and furniture, its ramshackle buildings and sheds devoid of doors and windows -- that is until we reach a zone of commercial activity, Pusher Street, featuring the usual assortment of homemade craft, jewelry, and clothing shops. Suddenly, up ahead flashes a sinister commandment: No Photos. We are entering the Green Light District.

The stalls on either side of us are dark as caves; behind chest-high fences or curtains, the proprietors' faces are concealed by masks. Somewhere, beyond our prying eyes, clandestine transactions are taking place, the theatrical nature of which becomes all too apparent as prominent signposts trumpet their wares (Doc Cannabis, Tigerman, and You'll Never Smoke Alone) and a telltale fragrance expunges all doubt. Smoking marijuana may be illegal in Denmark, but at least in Christiana the authorities have decided to forgo enforcement.


We order a couple of beers at the Nemoland Cafe, grab two seats in the plaza fronting the Green Hall stage, ogle some of the weirdest characters I have ever seen, gain an appreciation for the arts of joint-rolling and pipe-filling, and applaud the sounds of a reggae band when it finally shows.

Not quite as strange but unconventional nevertheless is the Copenhagen Street Food Emporium, into which, tired and hungry, we straggle following several wrong turns and an hour of fruitless map-reading. It's a huge metal warehouse packed with hundreds of customers and over thirty vendors serving "diverse and reasonably-priced meals for the masses." After two circuits of the premises, we are seduced by the heft, odor, and popularity of the sizzling African barbecue mixed platter -- beef, chicken, and skewered pork -- which to my non-discriminating palate ranks not much below some of our more extravagant repasts.

One more Scandinavian delight awaits us as we stroll along Nyhavn, the sun lingering above us even at this late hour: another outdoor concert in a small square beside the canal, performed by an accomplished brass ensemble, including keyboard, bass, saxophone, trombone, and two clarinets. If the male vocalist's Danish monologue provokes laughter from everyone but us, he delivers as fluent an English rendition of "New York, New York," "When the Saints Go Marching In," and "What a Wonderful World" as we're ever likely to hear.

We raise our glasses to salute him with the traditional Swedish toast: "Skoal!"